|
Part Two
To Date or Not To Date: That Is the Question
By: Brooke C. ~ Christian Teen Writer
be careful with their heart (Gresh). Proper conduct is necessary for the dating Christian, but he or she must also be very aware of the temptations that come with having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Purity is an essential part of every relationship. Elisabeth Elliot, Christian author and evangelist, once said, “The relationship that means most in a man’s life is governed by far stricter principles than the casual ones” (Gresh 89). Many verses in the Bible lead to the conclusion that purity is necessary. Genesis 1:28 and 1 Corinthians 7: 3 support the fact that God instituted sex only within marriage (Croft “To Kiss or Not to Kiss”). 1 Corinthians 6: 18 tells Christians to “Flee immorality.” Flee does not mean to get as close to the line of sexuality impurity without crossing it; it means to turn and run as far away from temptation as possible.
Instead of asking the question, “How far can I go?,” Christians should be asking the question, “How much can I save?”
(Gresh). 1 Thessalonians 4: 4-5 warns Christians to be “holy and honorable,” not satisfying “passionate lust” (Croft “To Kiss or Not to Kiss” 3). A study on the effects of sexual activity shows that a person who has the lowest amount of sexual activity has the highest marriage and friendship desirability (McKinney and Orbuch 2).
So not only does saving sex for marriage honor God, it also makes one more desirable! Although staying pure has numerous benefits, statistics show that fifty-seven percent of college kids claim to be sexually active (Shadrach “Ten Essentials” 2). Not only should Christians couples stay physically pure, but their motive for dating should be pure as well.
Many believe that “missionary dating” is an acceptable and effective way to bring others to Christ. Missionary dating is when someone becomes romantically interested in someone who is not a Christian, and he or she believes that by dating the non-Christian, he or she will bring that person to Christ. This is an unfruitful method of evangelizing, though, because God tells us to be separated from the world. 2 Corinthians 6: 14 says, “You are not the same as those who do not believe. So do not join yourselves to them. Good and bad do not belong together. Light and darkness cannot share” (McAllister 1). Another version of this verse says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (Shadrach “Six Steps” 1). Although Christians are supposed to witness and evangelize, creating close emotional and physical bonds to a non-Christian is unscriptural and dangerous. Dawson McAllister, renown spokesman of radio show, “Dawson McAllister Live!” believes that different and more effective methods can be used to bring someone to Christ. Praying for the unbeliever, rather than dating him or her, is a much safer and efficient
way. The next step would be to ask a pastor or a Christian adult to talk to the unbeliever. This would cause the
unbeliever to be more real in his or her decision. The last step is to leave it in God’s hands, knowing that He will take care of the situation (1). Missionary dating is a risky and
unfruitful way of evangelism; Christians should be sure to bring others through Christ and serve Him, but this is not always through dating.
God made people single for a reason. If He thought that they should always have a commitment to another, He would have made us born married. Joshua Harris, an expert on dating and author of
I Kissed Dating Goodbye, said, God gives us singleness- a season of our lives unmatched in its boundless opportunities for growth, learning, and service- and we view it as a chance to get bogged down in finding and keeping boyfriends and girlfriends. But we don’t find real beauty of singleness in pursuing romance with as many different people as we want. We find the real beauty in using our freedom to serve God with abandon. (Gresh 88)
God wants Christians to pursue Him first and foremost. Dannah Gresh, author of
And the Bride Wore White and an avid proponent of sexual purity, believes that teenagers should use this time in their lives to find out what God is calling them to do and serve Him through that. Singleness should be used to find and pursue a purpose. Teenagers are already surrounded with so many distractions, why should they add more to the already abundant list? God has given single people this very crucial time in their lives to serve Him, not to become romantically involved with multiple people.
Dating is a risky and controversial subject. Many see dating as a learning experience, in which one discovers himself or herself, as well as discovering what he or she wants in a future spouse. No where in Scripture does God address dating, but instead, marriage is addressed multiple times. Although dating can be beneficial in creating friendships and social skills, if one refrains from dating unintended for marriage, the results are often very beneficial. Courtship is an excellent method of escaping the hardships of dating, but if one cannot refrain from dating, purity of mind, heart, body, and motive should always be prevalent in the relationship. Serving God and finding purpose is the ultimate goal for Christians. No better time is available for fulfilling those duties than when one is single and can recklessly and whole-heartedly devote him or herself to God. Whether man or woman, courting or dating, single or married, God wants our full devotion. When this devotion is fulfilled, God turns heartbreak into love, temptation into faith, and distraction into an everlasting focus on the True Lover of one’s soul.
Works Cited
Croft, Scott. "Biblical Dating: An Introduction." 30 Nov 2006 1-3. 15 Jan 2008
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001401.cfm.
Croft, Scott. "Biblical Dating: To Kiss or Not to Kiss." 18 Jan 2007 1-5. 15 Jan 2008
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001429.cfm.
Croft, Steve. "What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?." 12 Jan 2006 1-3. 15 Jan 2008
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001196.cfm.
Gresh, Dannah. And the Bride Wore White. Wheaton, Il: Tyndale House Publishers, 1996.
Gresh, Dannah. Telephone interview. 14 Jan 2008.
McAllister, Dawson. "What Does God Think of Missionary Dating." (1997) 1-3. 15 Jan 2008
http://christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y015.html.
Susan, Kathleen McKinney, and Terri L. Orbuch. "The Effect of Current Sexual Behavior on Friendship, Dating, and Marriage Desirability." Journal of Sex Research 28.3 (Aug. 1991): 387-409. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. San Antonio Christian Schools Library, San Antonio, TX. 15 January 2008.
Shadrach, Steve. "Six Steps to Great
Dating." (2002) 1-3. 15 Jan 2008 <>.
Shadrach, Steve. "Ten Essentials for Every College
Student." (2002) 1-2. 15 Jan 2008.
Home
Page - PeopleOfFaith.com - Visitor
Agreement
((c)
2008 People of Faith |
HOME
“The relationship that means most in a man’s life is governed by far stricter principles than the casual ones.”
|
