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Writing a Letter to Your Wife
by Carl Caton
One of the most powerful things we can do in our marriage is often surprisingly overlooked. Why do we give our wives diamonds, flowers, and such, when what they'll treasure more than anything is a letter?
In case you've missed the "Letters from
Dad" phenomenon, there is a growing resurgence in the practice of sitting down with paper and pen to communicate our love. Come on guys, it's really not that hard. And the payoff.. well it's powerful.
Here's a really easy way to write your wife a letter. First, begin with prayer. Ask God to reveal the many attributes of your wife that you should appreciate. Ask the Lord to give you the words and inspiration to accomplish this important task.
Second, plan ahead and take your time in thinking about the content of your letter. I suggest you take three weeks according to the following schedule.
Week One.
In your spare time, think about the many memories you have as a couple. Where did you meet? What was your courtship like? Your engagement? Your wedding? Your early years in marriage? The birth of your kids? Think about your family vacations, adventures, and memories. When did you laugh so hard you though you would die? In week one, reflect back on the memories of your time together. And take notes!
Week Two.
Now, spend a week thinking about the attributes that you admire about your wife. What do you love about her? What are her admirable character traits? Is she hardworking? Thrifty? Loyal? Faithful? Is she a good decision maker? Again, take notes!
Week Three.
Time to think about the future. What are you looking forward to in the years ahead? What will you do when the kids leave home? Adventure? Vacations? Your wife needs to know that you're willing to lead her and that you have a 'vision' for your life together. Need I remind you? Take notes!
Now, with three weeks of thinking and hopefully an abundance of notes and ideas, you're ready to get the process started. First of all, don't get overwhelmed. You're not going to write a novel. The biggest mistake we make when we sit down to do this is trying to do too much. Just look at your notes and write what you feel.
It's important that you don't try to do a perfect job on your first draft. Just write. You'll have time later to edit and revise. For now, just put words on paper. As you progress, there should be three more things you can easily include in your letter. First, the bible often mentions the power of a blessing. Why not give your wife an "official blessing". Tell her that you approve of her. Second, now's a great time to ask for forgiveness for your stumbles and mistakes. Nothing like starting with a clean slate. Finally, include some scripture that applies to your writings.
Once you wrap up your first draft, set it aside for a week or so. Just get away from it. Later, when you come back to it, you'll be in a better position to make your final changes.
But before you move on, take some time to prayerfully reflect on what
you've written. Ask yourself, "is there a theme to our life
together"? Or, "how does the hand of God appear in to be working
in the subtle, day to day story or our lives"? When I recently wrote
my wife a letter, I noticed that she has always joined me in adventures.
There was an adventurous theme that always wove its way into our life.
Recognizing this, I created a "partners in adventure"
theme that told the story of our marriage.
After you've edited your letter, you will be ready to write your final draft on some fine stationary. If your wife is like most, she will keep this letter forever. With that in mind, why not spend some time making this "legacy document" look great. Use great stationary. Take your time. Write in your own handwriting.
See guys, this is do-able! So rise up to the challenge and be a hero in your marriage.
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