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Grow a Successful Child
by Colleen Langenfeld
paintedgold.com
As parents, we all want to grow happy, healthy children.
Unfortunately, parenting does not come with a guarantee, but there are some practical guidelines we can follow that
will point our children in the right direction. Here are the suggestions our family has used in our continuing goal
of raising six confident, competent adults (four children and two parents!).
- We're in this for the long haul.
As a parent, we are given a long-time perspective just
by giving birth. The future stretches out l-o-n-g and
fearful in front of us. But kids have no such perspective.
Teaching them about cause and effect, in other words,
consequences, can help them understand that their thoughts, words and actions, big and small, have meaning and future
impact.
- We're in this together.
Children are astonishingly selfish, but often not
intentionally so. It's just the human condition. Part of
parenting is to provide them with opportunities to be
around others who are different than they are. Encouraging them (and participating with them) to help others will
show them that we all must get along with each other and it's not necessary for us all to be the same. The ability
to make and maintain friendships is not just fun, it's vital.
- Stability.
Everyone needs stability...not to be confused with a
rut! Stability means you can generally count on the people and situations around you, while understanding that life
doesn't hand out guarantees. Stability usually comes from the parents, who can only provide as much stability as
they currently have themselves. In other words, if your marriage is on shaky ground, it's going to be very
difficult to provide the stability your children need. That is why it's often said that the best thing a man can do for
his kids is to love their mother. And vice versa.
- Life is hard.
This is a fact and our children need to hear it from us
first. However, it's a difficult fact and if we as adults
are struggling with this reality, we're going to find it
impossible to share it with our kids. The funny thing is,
though, that children can often receive difficult facts
easier than we can. All of our children are bright and
observant in their own ways, so the truth is that they
already know a lot about how life works; they just need
help articulating and integrating it. That's where we come
in as parents. Provide your children with fascinating
stories of inspiring people who have overcome great
obstacles and made a difference in our world. After all,
it's easy to FEEL life is bad; the challenge is to DECIDE
that life is good!
- Control.
Once we get hold of the truth that life is difficult, the
issue of control takes on new meaning. How much control do we really have over our lives? What does that control look
like? Often, these are personal questions to be wrestled with, but psychiatrists generally tell us that an internal
locus of control is necessary for healthy mental and emotional development. That means that we need to believe
we are able to exert a certain amount of control over our lives. This leads us to....
- Tools.
As parents, we can introduce a variety of tools to our
children as they grow. We exercise control over our lives
and build a bright future for ourselves to the extent that
we believe such a thing is possible. A strong grounding in
the tools available to do that will take our children a
long way. Goal-setting, life planning, self-discipline,
high expectations, and spiritual development are all
effective tools that require practice and guidance to be
the life-long habits that will benefit our children the most.
- The Five R's.
We all know about the importance of academics in our
children's future. Reading, writing and 'rithmetic (math)
along with other academics will give our children a strong
foundation for the future. However, if we stop there we've only developed part of a human being. Respect and
responsibility go hand in hand with academics to raise a
child who is not only smart, but also able to work
productively and happily with the people around him and
honestly like himself, too.
- Balance.
Ideally, life shouldn't be too hard or too easy. Ideally.
As parents, we can sometimes structure the microcosm of our homes to fill out those places our children need to
work on. Appropriate challenges are vital to growing in
maturity, but the overwhelmed child stops growing and
quits. As long as your children know you are watching over them constantly and that you genuinely care for them, they
will usually handle life's jostling amazingly well. Teach them to study hard, work hard, play hard and rest hard.
Raising our children will always have its share of
frustrating obstacles and exhilarating peaks. It's the one
job that we cannot go back and do over, so the stakes are high.
And the rewards...fantastic!
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Colleen Langenfeld delivers deals, tips and
creative resources to working moms who want
the most out of their homes, families and
careers at http://www.paintedgold.com
. Sign
up for our free newsletter and get an
online Creativity Toolkit as our gift to you!
This article provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com
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